Friday, May 13, 2011

Friday the 13th

Happy Jason Day everybody!


Unless you live in Crystal Lake, Illinois, you're probably just staying home and watching the machete-wielding masked monster on TV.  Yeah, I am too. 

And if you live in Crystal Lake, Illinois...you're probably not doing anything, because there's not even a camp there.  HOW THE HELL IS THERE NOT A CAMP THERE!?  Should we pool our money and build one?  Obviously. 

In any case, what's your favorite Friday the 13th?  I love 1 & 2, but for some reason I also love 8 (Jason Takes Manhattan).

Monday, May 9, 2011

Thankskilling: The Beaquel Needs YOU!

Last year I reviewed a truly inspirational piece of cinema called Thankskilling.  My review must have been amazing because many of you - my precious readers - watched it too.  Lots of you loved it.  Some of you hated it.  Either way you have to admit, it crawled like a parasitic worm into your brain AND your heart, where it still resides to this day.

Here's your chance to make the sequel happen.

Check out Jordan Downey's Kickstarter page where they're asking for donations.  BAM.  (Seriously, go to watch the video, it's delicious and all kinds of sexy)

You might be wondering why you should throw your hard earned money at this project.  Aside from the fact that the original Thankskilling brought joy to children of all ages, they are offering the best perks for donations I have ever freaking seen.  Ever.  I'm just speechless over them.  Some of them offer your very own gravy flavored condom.  WHAT.

I mean you can throw them any amount of money, but my favorite is probably the $200 donation:

And consider yourself a FOWL-MOUTHED PRODUCER like the best of 'em! Your name will scroll like no other in the end credits under the heading "Fowl-Mouthed Producers" and we'll even list you on IMDB, should you wish that upon your career. And since you've got a knack for profanity, we'll let you choose your FAVORITE SWEAR WORD to appear beside your name in the credits! Have fun with it -- "Nick Rubin: Butt Sniffer!" You'll also get stuffed with the DVD, T-Shirt, Poster, and all the swag listed above!
ASTOUNDING.

Be a part of movie history.  I'm pretty sure this is what I'm going to be asking for when my birthday rolls around.  TAKE NOTE, ASSHOLES.  If you're a fan (and how can you not be a fan of these guys!?) throw them a little bit of cash.  Do it for me.  DO IT FOR HORROR MOVIES.  Do it for your mom - I heard she's a huge Thankskilling fan.  Do it for Whorticulture.com.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Fantastic News for Phoenix, Arizona

Whorticulture.com has THE BEST NEWS EVER for the Phoenix Area!




If you live in the Phoenix area, and you don't know who the Midnite Movie Mamacita is, YOU ARE MISSING OUT, SON!  Let me fill you in.  Triple M is a hot little number all the way from New Zealand who makes it her mission to bring you the absolute BEST (and the best of the worst) in Horror, Grindhouse, and B-movies every weekend!  If it weren't for the Midnite Movie Mamacita and friends, your life would SUCK.  And that's a fact!

So now that you understand how much you love this little lady, I have great news.  After 5 years of bringing face-kicking awesome to the Valley, she's bustin' out and opening her own venue in Historic Downtown Mesa!
"A cool place to watch movies, that's what it boils down to.  You love the films, we love showing them.  We want to bring you the best in new and classic genre films in a convenient and comfortable spot, while also tantalizing your taste-buds with our unique commissary."

So what can you do?   There are a lot of ways you can help.  The easiest way is to go see her kick ass movies - this weekend they're showing Rubber at MADCAP Theaters!

Yeah, it's a killer tire.  I hear it's BRILLIANT.

Other ways you can help?  Check out the site and help a sista out!  BAM!

Do it, fans!  This is your chance to make your life 50% more awesome (I'm lowballing it here folks), and help out a kick ass lady in the process!