John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe: Your Votes!

Our latest poll closed today.  Here are the results.

John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe:

A mere 1 person (6%) said it was a great idea.

4 of you (26%) said you couldn't give a crap either way.

And the winner is...

10 of you (66%) said it's a terrible idea!

Once again, I agree with the masses.  I also agree with John, who said "he'll be the Edward Cullen of Edgar Allan Poe's."

We should have a new poll up by Monday!  Thanks for voting!

Reader Poll: John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe

I know, lots of us sighed with disdain when John Cusack was cast as Edgar Allan Poe in the upcoming movie The Raven (sidenote: why can't they make a movie out of Hop Frog?).  But visually I think he makes a pretty good Poe.

Here's Edgar Allan Poe:

And here's John Cusack in the role:

But, as we all know, looks are only half the battle.  Everyone on Twitter knows that John Cusack is a mega douchebag.  So what do we think?  Can he pull off the role?

Vote now!

Which Scares You? Poll Results

The results are in!

Vampires, Mummies, Zombies, and poor ol' Frankenstein got 0 votes!  Wait, no votes for Zombies?  Okay guys, if you say so!

Ghosts and Mutants each got 1 vote, so that's 1% each.  Also, "None of these are scary, you guys are pussies" got 1 vote, so 1%.

Demons got 4 votes, 4%.

Dolls got 9 votes, 10%.

Sparkly Vampires (ha!) got 9 votes, 10%.  I know, Twilight fans are scary.

And the winner, with an ASTONISHING 62 votes (that's 71%, people):

TILA FUCKING TEQUILA.

Yikes!

What is it that's so scary about Tila Tequila?  Is it the fact that she's a total whore?  Or that she's obviously batshit insane?  Seriously, check this girl out.  It's kind of scary what you'll find.  A plethora of fake pregnancies, her announcing she's the "Virgin Mary," wacky alien adventures (I wish I was kidding), accusations of rape, absolutely atrocious ear-raping "music" (ahem...I'm using that term VERY loosely), the worst boobs I've ever seen (and that's saying a lot)...just...goddamn.  GODDAMN.

There's also the accusation that she killed someone and had another girl kidnapped, so maybe that's why so many of you voted for her.

In any case, she's a nutjob, and I think you all voted very appropriately.  Golf clap.

Gross.  Get this shit off my site!  New poll, stat!

Slow or Fast Zombies? Your votes!

Fast zombies only got 13 votes (34%), while slow zombies got a whopping 25 votes (65%).

You hear that sound?  That's the sound of Mogularmy and StarsMum, crying into their melons.

HOORAY SLOW ZOMBIES!
That's what I would have voted for.

Stay tuned for a review of Hellraiser, A Nightmare on Elm Street best kills list, and a new poll!

How Do You Like Your Zombies?

Whorticulture.com Presents A New Reader Poll: How Do You Like Your Zombies?

I've been watching Dead Set at night (I'm through episode three now) and was only slightly disappointed to see it features fast zombies.  I'm totally old school, I prefer slow zombies.

Don't get me wrong, I see the benefit of fast zombies.  Slow zombies are easy to out-maneuver.  You can basically speed-walk right past them.  But COME ON.  They're dead!  Nothing could have speed once it's dead!  The system has shut down, the muscles are atrophying, the blood is not pumping.  DEAD.

Simon Pegg, star of one of the best zombie movies ever (perhaps best in recent times - thanks a pant load, George Romero) Shaun of the Dead, wrote a great article about it.  You can read it here.  He was also prompted by Dead Set.

Please note, this is not to bag on Dead Set.  It's been fantastic so far!  I can't wait to finish it!

So which do you prefer?  Fast or Slow?  It's our new reader poll, so go ahead and vote.  And if you've got reasons for fast (or more reasons for slow), feel free to start a discussion here in the comments.

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