I wish I could say that the horror movie season is still alive and well...unfortunately, I can't. Sadly, we're in the extreme off-season. All the good stuff came out last month. The stuff that comes out between now and the new year is the scrap that falls on the floor of a dog food factory. Sigh.
So here are two new horror movies that are set to hit theaters in the few next months. Don't say I didn't warn you.
First we have Heartless, which is due on November 19th. From what I can tell by the trailer, this guy with the hideous birth mark makes a deal with the devil to lose it, thus wacky shenanigans ensue.
Wow, original.
Come on, people. This is hardly a horror movie. Just because there are demons doesn't mean it's a horror movie. This beggar is going to be a chooser and not see this one (unless it's free), k thanks.
Then we have Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, set for early January release. In this one, a young girl discovers creatures in her new home. It's based on the 1973 made-for-television movie by the same name.
Yeah, this one looks pretty good. It has promise. And then you see fucking Katie Holmes.
I'm torn. I really like what Guillermo del Toro did with Pan's Labyrinth, BUT IT'S FUCKING KATIE HOLMES. Honestly, I don't think Katie Holmes can pull off horror. Like, I'm pretty sure of it.
And I love how many people are literally
terrified at the trailer. Really? Man, I'm jealous. I wish I could be so easily scared.
So, anyway, these are the meager scraps Hollywood is throwing at us. I guess we'll be sticking to old school horror for a while. Darren Lynn Bousman's Mother's Day is still too distant on the horizon (with a supposed March 2011 release). Save your money, but go see Julie Taymor's version of The Tempest. I'm going to nerd out
hard over that.