Deadgirl

Whorticulture.com Reviews Deadgirl

A bunch of Troma guys got together and made an actually GOOD film.  Imagine that.

Deadgirl was recommended to me today, and if you know anything about recommending movies to me, it's that I don't get to them right away.  But this had two things going for it: #1. It was available on instant queue.  #2. The info (basically "two male high school students stumble upon a dead girl in a basement") kind of sounded like Stir of Echoes and that intrigued me.

The tagline for Deadgirl is "You'll never forget your first time."  Being the smartass that I am, I totally thought I had this whole movie figured out before I started it. 

Haha, nope.

This movie surprised me right and left.  There were major plot turns I didn't expect, and even for a movie really low on gore I have to give it two very enthusiastic thumbs up.  It was so good that we just sat in silence while the credits rolled, trying to wrap our minds around any comments we could make.

I can't say more because it would be really unfair to spoil any of this for you guys.  I mean, it's not like the most surprising movie of the century or anything, but it was really good and you should definitely check it out.  That being said, I hope a conversation starts about this movie in the comments, because there are a lot of things that didn't make sense.  Example: What role did the dog play?  Oh, and what do we think happened to the Deadgirl in the end?

My vote is a 9 out of 10.

Trivia: The main dude, Shiloh Fernandez (Rickie) was almost Edward Cullen. 

The Roommate

Whorticulture.com Reviews The Roommate

So...okay.  I tried not to be against this movie from the beginning, but it was impossible.  There is no reason for horror movies OR thrillers with a PG-13 rating.  This movie especially.  I'm going to have to assume I was too old for this movie, because it's obviously made for teenagers.

I was too busy eye rolling and playing on my phone through most of this (that should tell you something), so I didn't take many notes.  I'll point out important points.

1:  I swear to God, this movie is like The Disney Channel remade Single White Female.  (Both based on the John Lutz novel).

2:  I'll give them credit on their casting choices.  Leighton Meester and Minka Kelly become almost  indistinguishable - probably a little earlier on than desired - but by that point I was so bored with the movie I gave up trying.  The acting is decent.  It's the turning of the plot into a Disney classic that fails.

3:  I'm sorry, but this was ridiculously boring and predictable.  It's basically rated PG-13 for "menacing," whatever the hell that means.  Seriously, you've seen this story so many times before, and you've seen it BETTER in Single White Female.

4:  As you can tell with the PG-13 rating, there's no gore.  And there's really very little scare.  Ripping out a belly button ring?  I'm bored.

So who is going to like this movie?  Kids too young to see Single White Female.  Fans of The Disney Channel.  But it's too much of a drama to be scary.  I don't recommend this for anyone over the age of 15.  I give this a 4 out of 10, and I'm being seriously generous. 

Just go rent Single White Female.  You'll thank me.

Poll Results & What's Coming

Poll Results

Here are the poll results for our last poll: "Who's Your Favorite Movie Hero?"

Muscle Bound Studs 2%

Nerdy, Wimpy Guys 4%

Innocent Good Girls 7%

Sluts with Big Boobs 34%

Bad Bitches with Big Guns 51%

Although I'm calling shenanigans because our reader MogulArmy campaigned and promised sexual favors for anyone who voted for Bad Bitches with Big Guns.

We've got a new poll over to the right.  This is part 1 of our 2 part poll so make sure you vote!

What's Coming at Whorticulture

I just sat through Single White Female The Roommate, I'll have that review up in the next few days.  Definitely before it's released on the 4th.

Current Events: Saturday, January 22nd 2011

Everybody head over to MADCAP theaters on Saturday, Jan. 22nd for a special 35mm viewing of the 1980 horror classic, Maniac!

From MADCAP's website:

MANIAC (1980)stars Joe Spinell (ROCKY, THE GODFATHER, TAXI DRIVER) as Frank Zito, a deeply disturbed man haunted by the traumas of unspeakable childhood abuse. When these horrific memories begin to scream inside his mind, Frank prowls the seedy streets of New York City to stalk and slaughter innocent young women. Even as he begins a relationship with a beautiful photographer (Caroline Munro of THE SPY WHO LOVED ME), Frank continues to act on his vile compulsions. The film holds nothing back in depicting the atrocities of a human monster.  MANIAC earned instant notoriety in 1980 as the most graphic and disturbing of all slasher films, thanks to the gruesome special effects wizardry of Tom Savini (DAWN OF THE DEAD, FRIDAY THE 13TH). Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert called for their audience to boycott MANIAC, feminists protested the film's brutal violence, and other critics simply reviled the film as "sick" and "dirty."  This program is presented in 35mm.


This one ain't for the faint of heart, guys.  But it's good, I've seen it before and I can't wait to catch it in 35mm!

Brought to you by the kick ass Midnite Movie Mamacita!  Only $8!  Showings at 8 & 10!  See you there!

Update
I just found out that they're giving away tickets to see The Mechanic on Tuesday at 7 at Tempe Marketplace!  So come see Maniac, and score a free ticket!

Hilarious and Awesome: Film News for 1.12.11

First, let's check out awesome.  Ever seen Old Boy? 

That's a damn fine movie - a fantastic example of modern day revenge tragedy.  So according to this article, the director of Old Boy Park Chan-Wook is shooting a movie entirely on the iPhone.

That's crazy!  I'm in awe of technology.

And now, hilarious.  Apparently Oprah's movie Beloved (based on Toni Morrison's book, which is amazing) came out the same weekend as Bride of Chucky.  And Beloved lost, terribly.

How does Oprah handle losing to Bride of Chucky?  She eats 30 pounds of mac and cheese.  Gross.  Read that article here.  And how did she not know what a Chucky was?

Best Horror Movie of 2010 Poll Results

Here's how you voted for the best horror movie of 2010.

The Wolfman, Nightmare on Elm Street remake, Devil, Survival of the Dead, Piranha 3D, My Soul to Take, Saw 3D – 0%

Daybreakers, Buried, I Spit On Your Grave remake, The Crazies remake, Let Me In  -  16% each

Paranormal Activity 2  -  66%

And the winner:

The Last Exorcism  -  83%

Thanks for voting!  Make sure you take the time to vote on our new poll!

The Children

Whorticulture.com Reviews The Children

A few nights ago I sat down to one of my suggestions, The Children, a Brit Horror film from 2008.

I didn't know anything about this movie, so I assumed it was going to be like Beware! Children At Play but with a bigger budget.  But no, nothing is like Beware! Children At Play.

Quick plot outline: Two families meet up for Christmas, when the young children catch a virus that turns them into murderous little monsters.

There were pretty decent scares in this movie.  The run time is only 84 minutes, and it takes its sweet ass time getting to a point, but once it does it's pretty good.  They cut away from a lot of the gore, but what you do get is decent.

The "scream at your TV" factor of this movie is definitely a 10.  I don't care if it's mommy's sweet little boy, if he's coming at me with a knife, I'm kicking his ass down the stairs.  I can't even look my neighbors in the eye right now because I'm sure they heard me screaming some crazy shit about killing children.  I have no shame, I would have killed these kids right away.

You don't even know, I'm taking these fuckers out!  With a quickness!

Pretty much everyone who dies in this movie is someone who deserves it.  The kills are highly satisfying.  Sure, to some extent it's a plot you've seen before (Children of the Damned and a few others), but I'd recommend checking it out.  I had fun watching it.

I give this movie a 7/10.  Thanks to Brixie for the suggestion!