Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Best Of: Best Use of Boobs in a Horror Movie

Whorticulture.com Presents: Best Use of Boobs in a Horror Movie!

I got a ton of hits on my last Best Of: Best Boobs in a Horror Movie (also, check out More Horror Movie Boobs).  The people have spoken, and I guess you guys like tits.  High five.  I like tits, too.  So let's keep the momentum going with our new Best Of: Best Use of Boobs in a Horror Movie.

Now I don't require my horror movie boobs to do anything.  Just being there is fine by me.  I mean, check this out:

Ah, Elvira.  Cassandra Peterson is Heaven the way I want it to be.

Hang on, I need a moment...

Okay, what was I saying?  Oh right, useful boobs.  I mean, if they're going to DO something, then I'm all for it.  And if it's something that can't be unseen, then it's pure cinematic gold.

Apparently the original Night of the Demons is the best movie for boobs, because my choice comes from there AGAIN.  Here we have Suzanne, played by Linnea Quigley.  Suzanne is a little bit slutty but that's why we like her.  She's unfortunately been possessed by a demon, and she's been left all alone in a bathroom.  What else is a girl to do?  She's gotta make herself pretty.

Sure, they're not GREAT boobs.  I'm not digging the chest ribs.  She's in the same movie as this girl so she has to do something to stand out, right?  Right.

So how does she use her boobs?  Well, you see that left one?  She pushes the lipstick right into the nipple.  What, you didn't expect her to carry it around all night, did you?  This apparently makes Suzanne a little unhappy.

Don't worry, Suzanne.  Your lipstick trick has lived in infamy since I first saw this movie, and everyone I've ever shown makes countless references since.  Congratulations, girl!  You're the stuff 80's horror is made of!

**Sidenote: I think this scene happens in the remake from the pictures I've seen.  I can't wait!**


  1. Blasphemy!

    You've left out the possibly best Boob shot & Best Use of Boob ever. My vote goes to the punk girl in Return of The Living Dead. Her nekkid bod made up for a horrible storyline. Also, she's a hot nekkid zombie later on. She's one of the first naked, slutty zombies to ever appear on the big screen.

  2. @MogulArmy
    This is for you:

    While I agree, the movie is blessed by her nudity, I don't remember her boobs DOING anything. Then again, I haven't seen that movie in about 2 years. Am I forgetting something?

  3. No, the boobs didn't do anything really except mask what a crappy film it was. Also, the boobs generated untold revenue due to horny tween word of mouth. Those boobs brought in many non horror fans. Hollywood's best marketing plan ever.

  4. Ah what about Julianna Guill in Friday The 13th remake? Perfect nipple placement LOL quote from the movie but fits EXTREMELY well:b

  5. HAHA oh my God, Seano, I totally thought of that when making this post!

  6. You HAVE to do do a review JUST on that scene!! XDD