Friday, April 15, 2011

Scream 4 - What Did You Think?

Whorticulture.com Wants To Hear From You!






So kiddies, Scream 4 comes out today and lots of you saw it at last night's midnight showing.

Let us know what you thought.

Leave a comment with a review and you could win a prize!  OH SHIT!  Get on it!

Sincerely,
Your pals at Whorticulture.com


**Our prize is 2 free movie passes**

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Dagon

Whorticulture.com Reviews Dagon




I've wanted to see Dagon for some time because I thought the cover looked pretty bad ass (yes, this is how I choose movies in the video store).  So I watched it yesterday on Netflix, and I'm still trying to figure out if I regret the decision.

Dagon is too good to be mediocre, and too mediocre to be good.  That's really the best I can say.

Quick Plot Outline: 4 American tourists are shipwrecked in a village in Spain, and they have a real bad time with the fishy villagers.

There were some really awesome aspects to this movie.  I haven't read the Lovecraft book this is based on (The Shadow Over Innsmouth - NOT Dagon) but I really enjoyed the plot.  I know the director, Stuart Gordon, made some drastic changes, so if you're a fan of Lovecraft you may not appreciate this film.  All of the computer generated effects were totally lame, but the gore effects were pretty decent. 

See?  Totally lame.  Are you vomiting tentacles at me?

There's a scene where an old man loses his face, and it was legit almost too much for me.  And the fishy people were pretty good.  I was certain I was going to have nightmares about them last night - not because they were scary, but because they were fairly disgusting and I couldn't shake them out of my brain.

I really appreciated that they gave us the back story of the village and how they came to worship the Philistine god Dagon.  However, I would have liked the back story of the character Paul, and how the hell he...well I can't say, that's a major part of the plot.  But if you watch it, you'll know what I mean.

Speaking of Paul, the majority of the film is him running from fishy villagers.  Seriously, for like, an hour.  And you get really sick of it.  Where the hell you gonna go, Paul?  I'm bored.  Hurry up and get caught so this shit can progress.

The ending is really abrupt, too.  I mean, it makes sense and all, but it just comes out of nowhere - BAM it's over.

My favorite character was Uxía, played by Macarena Gomez.  Gomez really gave off the vibe that she was enjoying herself, where the other characters fell flat a lot of the time.

I would bang a fish if she were this hot.

I'm going to give Dagon a 6.5 out of 10.  That's a C+.  I was bored AND into it at the same time.  If anyone has seen it I'd love to hear what you thought.  And if you have some time to kill, check it out on Netflix.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Our Recommendation for April

Whorticulture.com Recommends A Movie To Cure Your April Blues


People are always asking me for recommendations, and right now I've got a great one for you that's on the Netflix Instant Queue.


This low budget Belgian gorefest was picked up and redistributed by Troma, which means absolute B-Movie quality.

The plot is simple: these two elderly aunts receive a birthday present from their nephew, which turns them into bloodthirsty monsters.  Tons of blood splatter and laughs ensue as they devour their greedy relatives.


Go ahead, check it out.  Let us know how much you love it.

And while you're at it, leave us your April recommendations!