Silent Night, Bloody Night

Whorticulture.com Reviews Silent Night, Bloody Night

This movie was fucking terrible.  It was the worst DVD transfer ever, the quality was null, and I wanted to turn it off from the very beginning because it was BORING.

Quick plot outline:  I don't even know.  I lost interest immediately.  So there's this house, and it used to be a mental hospital or something?  And this guy had his daughter committed after she was raped, then decided he hated the people in charge of the institution so he let all the crazies out, and he assumed they killed his daughter so he faked his own death and went on a killing rampage.

I just made it sound 50x better than it really is.  You don't even get to that part until the last 5 minutes. 

There was absolutely nothing to hold my attention.  The movie is called Silent Night, Bloody Night, so you'd assume there'd be blood.  NOPE.  This is a picture of the bloodiest scene, when two people are killed with an axe:

There is literally no blood, aside from this scene, in the whole movie.  There's also no nudity and no swearing, so I felt like I was watching something lame on basic cable.

For some reason, every where I look this movie has startlingly high ratings.  The majority are 7/10 and higher.  Fuck that noise, I give this movie a zero.  That's right, a big fat zero.  It was the worst 100 minutes of my life, and I sat through Thankskilling!