I wish I could say that the horror movie season is still alive and well...unfortunately, I can't. Sadly, we're in the extreme off-season. All the good stuff came out last month. The stuff that comes out between now and the new year is the scrap that falls on the floor of a dog food factory. Sigh.
So here are two new horror movies that are set to hit theaters in the few next months. Don't say I didn't warn you.
First we have Heartless, which is due on November 19th. From what I can tell by the trailer, this guy with the hideous birth mark makes a deal with the devil to lose it, thus wacky shenanigans ensue.
Wow, original.
Come on, people. This is hardly a horror movie. Just because there are demons doesn't mean it's a horror movie. This beggar is going to be a chooser and not see this one (unless it's free), k thanks.
Then we have Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, set for early January release. In this one, a young girl discovers creatures in her new home. It's based on the 1973 made-for-television movie by the same name.
Yeah, this one looks pretty good. It has promise. And then you see fucking Katie Holmes.
I'm torn. I really like what Guillermo del Toro did with Pan's Labyrinth, BUT IT'S FUCKING KATIE HOLMES. Honestly, I don't think Katie Holmes can pull off horror. Like, I'm pretty sure of it.
And I love how many people are literally terrified at the trailer. Really? Man, I'm jealous. I wish I could be so easily scared.
So, anyway, these are the meager scraps Hollywood is throwing at us. I guess we'll be sticking to old school horror for a while. Darren Lynn Bousman's Mother's Day is still too distant on the horizon (with a supposed March 2011 release). Save your money, but go see Julie Taymor's version of The Tempest. I'm going to nerd out hard over that.
Heartless has Noel Clarke in it. He makes my tits fizz, so I will probably catch it when it comes on TV (I am a big fan, Kidulthood and Adulthood are brilliant films, and he did Metrosexuality before he made it big, been a fan ever since), but no it doesn't seem like a big horror film. Its clearly British though, and as I am a Brit I can say, we don't do horror well. Sorry rest of the world.
ReplyDeleteThe other one looked fairly tame to be honest, will give it a miss.
@StarsMum
Hey, that's not true. You guys did Dead Set. And what about the 28 _____ Later movies? Aren't those British?
ReplyDeleteTrue, but they were the exception that proves the rule, we just try too hard. Have you seen The Cottage? Point made, it tries too hard. We do other horror comedy well, like Shaun of the Dead, and Hot Fuzz, but thats because they are dark humour, when we try too hard to be scary and 'horror award' scary, that is where we fail. I am sure people will disagree, but I have sat through enough British 'lets try and be American' horror films, mainly starring Danny Dyer, to be swayed on this!
ReplyDelete@StarsMum